Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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