Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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