my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
