But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize