Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
