And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We smell like vodka and hangover
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
