I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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