just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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