god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize