she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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