i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
