Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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