I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
