either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
