I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
