We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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