My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize