So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
