goodnight i made you a song goodbye
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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