my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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