Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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