Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
