there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
