his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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