kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize