Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
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Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls