So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex