Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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