We won't sleep together?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
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Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
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Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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