just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
