..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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