I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
