my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you traded sex for a burrito?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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