Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
