I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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