when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
