Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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