first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
