They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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