We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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