the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
