theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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