you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
