The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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