It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
