Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
