just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
