I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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