i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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