This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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