she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize