My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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