Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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