Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
