Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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