Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
