I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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