There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
